The Balm of Rich Black Dirt
Kind of sad today
but I don't know
which kind
I heard my name
in a storm last
night;
and the small garden
planted by the
mailbox out front
all torn up
by the rain
overnight
the black dirt
hilly and cratered
by drops
bigger than a
seed's humble
hands
straightening
the fallen trellis
I suddenly realize
I am
that kind
of sad.
(... these two recent poems are little bits left from Georgia... I just thought I'd work them up and post them, tho' I'm excited about them... I just have leaving a thought unfinished...)
Summerfall
How the
bodies
soak in
the sun
on
Sunday
and every
blade
of grass
reaching
in shadow
to
handshake
its kin
the girls
tan
and I
write.
Ok, I have to write something about Guitar Hero as it's becoming my subtle new addiction, lol... I have wanted to play this game for years since being a guitarist I figured I would be good at it - I'm notoriously lousy at video games... so in theory this one seemed right up my alley, and I have to say, the more I play it the more it really is similary to playing real guitar... the hand coordination, little tricks like holding fretted notes lower down the neck that you might return to during a passage... they all transfer from the real thing to the game... the creators did a great job of setting this game up, and if you can find the rhythm of each song you can do really well... from the start I was getting 90% on Easy, and Jay thought I was busting him when I said I had never played it before... now I'm working on the 80's Edition, and working thru Medium level, and I have to say that Judas Priest's "Electric Eye" and Ratt's "Round and Round" are kicking my butt, lol... but I'm going back to them, getting them right, getting my hands back in shape... my goal, and I'll repeat it, to master at least one song on the Extreme level... so we'll see... I've been playing some after lunch and at night when everyone else is in bed...
... I applied for a job at a small sandwich shop yesterday not too far from the house, a place that almost reminds me of Bread & Bagels... I'm hoping they'll call me, it's only parttime but it would still be something... and I've been told they make amazing hush puppies, which I love and have yet to have all the time I've been in the South so far... and I need to get back to reading and doing some writing, I've got a few unfinished poems in my notebook, but nothing new for a few weeks now... it's quiet here at night, and with no TV in my room that should lead me back to my books and notebooks to shake something new from my thoughts...
... it's a hot and sunny Monday in North Carolina, and I think I had one of the busiest weekends I've had in a long time... Saturday night they had a small BBQ here with Jay and his family and Tara and her husband... then it was more Guitar Hero, lol, I'm trying not to become hooked on that... Sunday morning I went with Jay and his son to hear his wife sing in the church band... it was a neat little church, an outreach branch of a bigger organization, they hold their services in an old grocery store that's been cleaned out and renovated... but it looked great, and the minister was a young man who spoke very well... the band and Danielle did a great job, and then at the end there were some baptisms...
... after we got lunch and then began to get ready for a bigger BBQ for Tara's birthday... I got to meet a lot of their friends and they were all very nice and welcoming too, promising to keep eyes out for any possible jobs they might see out there... I think last night was the best night of sleep I've had here so far as I was really wiped out from the day... and I know I ate way too much, lol...
... today I've been doing laundry and catching up on emails and blogs and such... and the news, I've let the news slip away from me the past few months in GA... and I've been watching the swifts and hawks floating around looking for their lunch... and I think I just might do the same... go look for my lunch downstairs...
And greetings from North Carolina... it's my first morning here and an amazing one... waking up to the sun on the fields and woods outside my window and the sound of birdsong... last night before going to bed I opened the windows to get some air, and they're low, so I knelt down to look out and see the sky... the bedroom I'm in faces south, so Scorpius and Corvus and Virgo were all there, and just as I looked out I saw a big blue-white meteor flash across... my friend Susan calls things like that "God winks", and that is definitely what it felt like to me...
... the trip here was easy, and Jay grabbed us McDonalds for the drive and then we spent the whole time listening to music and catching up and reminiscing... it felt so good to have loud music again, and he and I are metalheads that go way back... we got to his house by 4 and I got the tour and it's a beautiful place, very light and airy and sooooo quiet... his wife, Danielle, and son Connor got home soon and hung out a bit before going out for Chinese buffet... then back here to talk more and play some video games (first time I ever got to play Guitar Hero so I was happy, lol)... then when Jay went to bed Danielle snuck me out with her to a little coffee shop nearby where she likes to sing karaoke... just one song was all she asked, and she and her friend blew the place away... but I sat there thinking how surreal it all felt, to so suddenly be in a whole other state sitting in this crowded place, and just thinking how much change a few days can bring...
... I unpacked most of my stuff, my books and notebooks... got the computer working last night and sent off some "I'm Ok!" emails to some friends, then went to bed... it's been so good to see Jay again after so long, and Danielle who I only met a few times with Jay just before they were married... and now this son they have, who cracks me up... North Carolina is quite a place and I'll be looking forward to seeing what comes next and what this area inspires me to write...
Well the big news of the day is I am moving to North Carolina today... earlier this week I got two surprise emails from friends of mine from New Jersey... one, Jay, I grew up with as his grandmother and my mother were best friends, so we met very young and spent a lot of time together... he was the first person I ever taught guitar too, and we played a lot together and I hung out at his house a lot... the other is Mike, who lived a few houses away from me and my mom in Audubon Park, and he's a drummer and we played in bands for 10 years or more... we had a bit of a falling out at the end, but apparently we both never forgot each other... anyway, Mikey tried to find me but when no one knew where I was, he got in touch with Jay, and together they both tracked me down and found my blog... then came the emails and we shared stories and lives... yesterday Jay offered me a place with him and his family in North Carolina... there are also a few places near him that are hiring, so this might mean I'll finally get back to work again after almost a year... I am sad about leaving Georgia, and unfortunately I'm not going on the best note it seems... but I just couldn't find work here to help out and support myself, and I can't let this opportunity go to earn money and get back on my feet... I've found out I'm not much cutout for using computers all day long as I don't have a lot of skill or knowledge in that area, so I guess in the end I'll wind up in another kitchen somewhere, but at least I'll be working and getting back on my feet... so I'm packed, and sad to go, but anxious about what awaits me now... when everything happened last year I felt like I was throwing myself out into the world not knowing where it would take me... so I guess this is the next gust sweeping me along... I'll write again when I'm settled in and online... take care, everyone, and be safe...
Haska
Hello, turnip truck,
the beatles are playing
with lucy in the headlights
and you are begging
to outrace the corn
growing sick
in the fields around
your rusted waistline
the rain starting
to beat on the thin
poncho you call a roof
you bastard
your balls rattling around
on the vinyl seat
in rhythm to the
rat-trap radio station
you can barely tune
in with your copper
teeth and banjo-wire
blues...
drop me here.
Bo and Bro
To myself
I call them Stan and Laurel
as I watch them outside
the house across the street
where they are spending a Saturday afternoon
working on a car and arguing
in their greasy jeans and faded
T-shirts, cigarettes puckered
to their lips like coffin nails,
beer cans set on the roof
of the Chevy they are trying
to resurrect, but they
argue on and on
and tho I'm too far away
to hear much, only the
occasional word that can
rise above the sounds
of the TV in the living room
behind me, I note the
calloused fists they wave
at each other when the flame
of their discussion peaks
and they drop the silvery tools
to the ground like sparks
and as I'm ready to turn back
to the life in the room behind me
because I don't want to witness
their fight, imagine my surprise
to see their faces break into smiles
as wild and plastic as engines
and right on cue they
hug like brothers with arms
as critical as vises.
Sun Day
This fragile afternoon
as delicate as
fine blown glass
filled with warm
yellow light -
we'll call it
Sun
and pass it
gently
between ourselves
watching each hour
fly as we lay
in bed with only
a wrinkled white sheet
around our bodies
to keep the memories
close to our skin;
in a whisper
I lean against you
and ask
if you remember
another
more perfect
afternoon.
