Cusp
The first-quarter Moon
hanging in the blue
evening sky
reminds me of
your breast in
profile
the one that
remains
after the operation
took the other one,
for prevention's sake,
they said
and I am reminded
how horrible things
often grow
in beautiful places
tho' I say
none of this to you
as we sit together
in the backyard
after dinner
I simply write
my thoughts down
in the notebook
with a pencil
as you turn to me
in your lawn chair
to tell me
the rose bushes
out front
are being eaten whole
by beetles.
The Feud
The porch light of 2214 Mapes Drive
whispers across to the one beside the
front door of 2213 all night long
their white voices meeting
and mingling softly
somewhere in the middle
of the street
where the faded
yellow line
moderates any discussions
too heated to ever
be resolved in the span
of time between dusk
and dawn
and it is decided
before they are both
turned off for the day
that sometimes friends
should just agree to
disagree
until they meet again.
Onstage at Southbrook Church, Monroe, NC... with my PRS in hand...
... long blog entry tonight, so get a drink, and settle in... ready?...
... ok, the big event of Sunda was playing lead/rhythm guitar in Danielle's band at Southbrook Church... this is the church I went to with them on my first weekend in North Carolina, and if anyone had told me then that in one month I'd be playing on stage and WITH a PRS guitar, I'd have laughed... yet that's where I was today, so... backstory...
... Danielle has wanted me to be in the band for some time now, and I was resistant, not for any religious reasons but more for personal fear ones... I get very nervous over playing in public, tho once I get up there and do it I do relax... it's just the getting to that point that is the pain... but she had asked me if I would but only when I felt ready... now, last week, when I got the PRS guitar, I really felt it came into my hands for more reason than just so I would have a guitar of my own to play... so the idea was already in my mind when Danielle's regular lead guitarist was out and another new one was in, tho' Danielle worried he was a little new to playing still... so, this past Thursday I went to the rehearsal at the church with my guitar in the back of Danielle's van, with the official reason being so that I could show John any guitar parts he might need help with, as I usually help Danielle with the arranging and figuring out some of the songs they will be playing for service... but Danielle mentioned to the soundman, Alan, that she had wanted me to play, and Alan came over to me and said basically, "Go get yer guitar and get up there, and I'll set you up soundwise"... so there I found myself rehearsing with the band and hoping I was familiar enough with the songs not to make a fool of myself...
... but the rehearsal went well, and I was set for Sunday for the real show...
... jump ahead now to this morning, and up with the sun to pack and let the first waves of fear and panic hit me, lol... I think I drove Danielle a little nuts on the ride to church, as I know she was dealing with her own pre-service nerves... the breaking point came tho when she put the CD of the songs we were performing into the car's CD player, and I asked her why it sounded so much clearer than when we were rehearsing in the garage at home?... and she said, well it's a lousy CD player in the garage, and I said, but OMG, I'm hearing guitar parts I couldn't hear clearly before, things I should I have been more prepared to play... Danielle thought this was a bad thing and that I was going to have a real freakout, but I told her, No, no, this is good, it will get my mind on the music more than the nerves...
... the short run thru the set before service went well, and I was nursing a Starbuck's ice tea and blueberry muffin so I'd have something to keep me running... then before I knew it, it was time to play... the first song went well, and then the minister did a child dedication ceremony before we finished the next three songs in the list... then there was a fifth special song that Jon, Danielle and I did alone during a special offering for the church (they're trying to raise money to create a bigger room for Sunday school services)... that song was a little tough because even tho it was slow, it had to be very cleanly picked and I was using such a light touch on the strings and pick I thought I'd drop my pick... but, made it thru it, the band did awesome and Danielle really shone despite fighting an allergy head cold that was really giving her bad throat problems...
... so now that I made it through the first time up there I'm sure the next time will be easier... this was tougher to me than the open mic night just because it was more serious of a setting, but it was fun to do... and yes, the PRS did look and sound sweet up there, and sitting in the audience for the service I must confess to staring at it more than once... after the sermon, we played one repeat song from the set as the people filed out, and then it was packup time and go home...
... there are pictures of the show, thanks to Jay, and also a video of the whole thing, which once I figure out how to get it on YouTube, I'll post the link here for anyone who wants to go see it... the sound isn't the best as Jay had their small camera in hand, but I think it still turned out damn good...
... also, Saturday, June 6th was a kind of anniversary for me... it was one year ago that I left the bakery back in Cherry Hill... after 11 years of mostly hell and little pay and horrible Christmas seasons... it's been some year since that day, and the story is all laid out in the pages of this blog... but it just amazes me that I went from there, to here in North Carolina and playing guitar again... between the hand problems I was having and then selling my guitars, I really thought I'd never be playing again... but I guess I'm not done with music yet...
On Attending the Kindergarten Graduation of My Best Friend's Son
It's been so long
since I set foot
in an elementary school
that the dresses my mother wore
in the 70's
are now back in style,
the sleeveless silky ones
that fall just above the knees
in bright floral patterns, or
checks and stripes, or
houndstooth,
even the hairband
the tall blonde mother of two
is wearing as she checks
her camera for batteries
is just like the one
my own mother wore
in her long, black hair
when she would drop me
at school,
and as I fall back
to let the young parents
around me move forward
to snap pictures
of their smiling children
as they file
into the gymnasium
and up to the stage
to begin their graduation
show
I feel myself shrinking,
the basketball hoop
above my chair drifting
off to the ceiling,
the mats on the floor
just like the ones that I
learned to tumble on,
and that impossible rope
hanging from the rafters
that I was so scared of
until the one time I finally
beat it and made it to
the top,
and I am
5 years old again,
hearing my mother's
sweet voice echoing
off the cinderblock walls
and high glass windows,
weaving its way over
the sing-sing choir
of small faces
nervously eyeing
the first crowd
they'll ever face,
I am proud of you, son,
so very, very proud.
(... today was the kindergarten graduation for Jay and Danielle's son, Connor, and I of course went along to cheer him on... and the setting brought back so many memories and thoughts, I knew a poem was percolating inside...)
